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Posts Tagged rant

Some E-Books Are More Equal Than Others – Pogue’s Posts Blog

Jul 17

Posted by chuck in WebSnip | Comments off

I just find the irony hilarious. Granted, this was an isolated incident with one particular publisher, but the ripples from this event will last for a looooong time. I had no interest in a Kindle before, but now I will actively campaign against them to others and point to this article as my reason. Remotely delete something I paid for? Unbelieveable!

This morning, hundreds of Amazon Kindle owners awoke to discover that books by a certain famous author had mysteriously disappeared from their e-book readers. These were books that they had bought and paid for—thought they owned.  But no, apparently the publisher changed its mind about offering an electronic edition, and apparently Amazon, whose business lives and dies by publisher happiness, caved. It electronically deleted all books by this author from people’s Kindles and credited their accounts for the price.

This is ugly for all kinds of reasons. Amazon says that this sort of thing is “rare,” but that it can happen at all is unsettling; we’ve been taught to believe that e-books are, you know, just like books, only better. Already, we’ve learned that they’re not really like books, in that once we’re finished reading them, we can’t resell or even donate them. But now we learn that all sales may not even be final.

As one of my readers noted, it’s like Barnes & Noble sneaking into our homes in the middle of the night, taking some books that we’ve been reading off our nightstands, and leaving us a check on the coffee table.

You want to know the best part? The juicy, plump, dripping irony? The author who was the victim of this Big Brotherish plot was none other than George Orwell.  And the books were “1984” and “Animal Farm.”

Scary.

via Some E-Books Are More Equal Than Others – Pogue’s Posts Blog – NYTimes.com.

UPDATE: 07/24/2009. Amazon’s CEO Jeff Bezos apologises for the “ham-fisted” handling of the whole scenario. A nice offer, but would there be an apology if there hadn’t been such a stink raised over it in the first place?

This is an apology for the way we previously handled illegally sold copies of 1984 and other novels on Kindle. Our “solution” to the problem was stupid, thoughtless, and painfully out of line with our principles. It is wholly self-inflicted, and we deserve the criticism we’ve received. We will use the scar tissue from this painful mistake to help make better decisions going forward, ones that match our mission.

With deep apology to our customers,

Jeff Bezos
Founder & CEO
Amazon.com

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Field of Stinky Dreams

Jan 23

Posted by chuck in Babble | Comments off

I am so pissed right now.
For the past two years our landlord has decided to allow dogs on the property. The understanding was that the dogs must be “small” and of course, they must be picked up after.
Well recently a couple of large dogs have moved onto the property. I know this because I see the size of their shit on a now daily basis. We have a back sidewalk that leads down to the parking lot and everyday I notice more and more dog shit in the snow on either side of the sidewalk. But today we found several large turds melting in the slush on the sidewalk.
Seriously? Look at this: cp1_0123091501-791704Each of those dark spots is a dog bomb. There’s gotta be ten or fifteen pounds of it out there.
How is behavior like this still allowed? Fairview Park has an ordinance against not cleaning up after your dog (505.02(c)) We’ve spoken to management and they claim that they can’t take action until they know who is doing it. Well, I’ll tell ya what… by not stopping one, you’ve basically allowed every dog owner out here to ignore their dog’s dumps.
I know there are a few dog owners out here who are responsible and actually do care enough to pick up after their dogs. But either their number is dwindling, or we’re getting more dogs.
All I know is that this is gross.

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Taking out the trash

Dec 1

Posted by chuck in Babble | Comments off

Since we live in the asshole of Fairview Park, the common laundry room outside our apartment has looked like this since mid April:

Once upon a time the old maintenance guys put some stuff in our laundry room “just for the night”.  Eight months later, no one has taken any initiative to clean the mess up.  In fact our neighbors have actively taken to making it worse.  Another couple of weeks and it’ll crawl out into the hallway.  By next month it’ll make it’s way into our apartment.  By mid-March we’ll be in the newspaper under the byline: “Family of three found dead under massive pile of lint, soda cans, carpet scraps and discarded underpants.”  (Yeah, I know… gross.)

As of tonight it looks like this:

I see it as saving my family’s lives.

Happy early Christmas, Georgetown.

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Bye, Bye RTA!

Nov 18

Posted by chuck in Babble | 1 Comment

Well, after spending a few weeks bitching and complaining, I’ve decided to actually do something. That’s right. After just over 10 years, RTA and I have split up. Oh, things had been rough throughout the years, but I always came back. Late buses, missing buses, over-crowded buses… I was there through all of it. But recently RTA decided to take advantage of me in an entirely different way. Knowing that I always came crawling back no matter how badly I was mistreated, RTA cut me off. Yes, that’s right. Until now, they’d teased and held out sometimes. Been late or altogether missing sometimes. But I always knew it was temporary.

They claim the State has cut their funding and they can’t afford me anymore. Instead of treating me right and standing up for my rights, RTA opted to hold me hostage. “I can’t take you all the way downtown any more”, they’d claim. “And I can’t pick you up from downtown either”. I was crushed.

Surely, after all I’d given them, they’d at least make it more affordable, right? I mean, now that we’d be spending less time together they wouldn’t expect me to continue paying the same amount?

No. They wanted more.

That’s right. After ten years, RTA has decided that I’m not as important as I used to be. “We can’t give you as much service as we used to.” they complained. “And by the way, we’re going to need more money too.” WHAT?!!

Well, like any abusive relationship, I saw what was happening and did nothing to change it. For a week I took what they gave and thought I deserved it. Resolved to my fate, I stepped aboard the train everyday and took it.

Then one morning, crushed between the window and an amazing fat guy, it came to me. Seeing people crammed in the isle of the over-crowded bus on the way to the train, I thought “I don’t have to take this.”

The thought surprised me. Could I honestly just walk away? After ten years? It was scary. But so was the thought of paying more money to spend the rest of my life crushed into an over-crowded bus on the way to a train that would only take some of the way to work.  So was the thought of freezing my ass off waiting an extra 45 minutes each day to go home because while I could get 6 trains to the bus station, I could only get one bus from there.

This morning I woke up free. This morning I took my life back. This morning I drove to work.

RTA, you may think you can charge more for less and claim that it’s not your fault. But when you lose customers because of it, you’re only proving your ignorance. You’ve officially made it more affordable for me to get off the bus and drive. I hope you get what you deserve.

I’m gone.

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RTA’s Gonna Save a Ton of Money!

Nov 10

Posted by chuck in Babble | Comments off

…because everybody is going to start driving.

If the first day of RTA’s new schedule is any indication, customers will be leaving the service in droves.  Today RTA got me to work a half hour late and home a full hour late.

The ride to work was unbearable because everybody who takes the bus from North Olmsted and Fairview Park had to take one bus.  The bus was packed.  Standing almost the entire ride downtown sucks.

The ride home was nearly as horrible.  First, walking to Tower City in the cold was unpleasant.  Then I sat on the platform and watched three trains go by.   This was because of the retarded schedule that provides me six trains (every 8 minutes) to get me out of downtown but only one bus that doesn’t leave West Park until 4:37pm.  So my options are -

  1. Stay at work an extra half hour – take a late train and get home at about 5pm
  2. Sit in Tower City for an extra half hour and get home at about 5pm or
  3. Sit at West Park an extra half hour and get home about 5pm

Not to mention that most buses don’t have the updated schedules yet.  The electronic marquee at the West Park station mentions nothing about the new schedules and every bus stop I saw today still had the wrong signs posted.

Lastly, just weeks before gas prices dropped to a two-year low, RTA approved a fuel surcharge that allows us all to pay more and get less.

RTA, you suck.

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How is this not news!?

Oct 16

Posted by chuck in Babble | 1 Comment

Yesterday I checked the daily email I get from Charter One and saw that we’d been double-billed for a transaction.  This double-bill now put us in the hole.

Between my wife and I, we spoke to three different reps yesterday who, while unable to tell us why, assured us that the double-billing happened to many people and the bank was aware of it.  The girl I spoke to even admitted that she’d been double-billed herself.

Standard answers each time were: Yes, they will credit the account or remove the offending charge.  No, we will not incur any fees because of this screw-up on the banks part.

Fine.

Later last night, I got an email from Charter One.  Subject line was: “An Important Message from Charter One”.  Very nice.  They were sending out explanations to the myriad of people they screwed today.  Nice to see them take responsibility.  WRONG!!

It was a form email assuring customers that even though the nations banking system is in the toilet, Charter One is still here for us.  After the day’s events the opening paragraph was especially ironic:

Today, our economy is going through an unprecedented time. And many of you are
obviously concerned about the safety and security of your money. But we want to
reassure you that your deposits are safe with us.

Nice timing, Charter One.  But hey, hopefully they didn’t know this was going to happen and they did promise to make it right.

So, this morning we wake up and check the account.  What do we see?

$25 INSUFFICIENT FUNDS FEE

GOD DAMN IT!

So now I have to wait until the bank open and call them (again) and complain (again) about them screwing up my account (again).  Don’t worry, I’ve got experience doing this.

Sitting here waiting to call, I’m amazed that this fiasco hasn’t been reported anywhere.  Unless we’re the only ones this happened to yesterday, it seems pretty significant.  Especially in light of the national banking panic.

So once again I ask… How is this not news!?

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My shoe wants to kill you

Aug 13

Posted by chuck in Babble | Comments off

I’m tough on shoes. I usually only get about six months out of a pair of shoes before the seams separate, the soles detach and the laces disintegrate. I don’t know why.

Yesterday, I was in a bad mood. Really bad.

I wished flaming death to rain down upon a dozen different people throughout my day. Inopportune phone calls, irritating requests and an inability to concentrate was blamed on helpless bystanders.

Looking back on it, I know that most if not all of the people who pissed me off yesterday did not know they were doing it. A phone call at just the wrong time! ARRGGHH! A request that could be handled by the guy who took a day off so it’s now my responsibility?! DAMNIT!! My own inability to find the information I was looking for on the internet??!! HOLY SHIT!!!!

After dinner I was thinking back on the day and realized that it all started with my right shoe.

I’ve worn out the insoles on my dress shoes, so recently I bought some of those gel insole replacements. The kind that are way too big out of the package and have to be cut down to fit. Well, apparently I cut the right insole down too far. After wearing the shoe for about fifteen minutes, the insole slides toward the toes leaving my heel to rest half on and half off the back ridge of the insole. It’s uncomfortable. Not painful but annoying. Only after taking my shoes off when I got home did I notice that my feet (well… foot) felt so much better. And I was in a better mood. Hmmmm… Could it be that my shoe started the whole thing?

I started my day walking to the bus. I was aware that the insole had slid forward. I put it out of my mind and figured I’d fix it later. By the time I got on the bus I was already in a bad mood. I didn’t know why. Things went downhill from there.

Stupid shoe.

Today I’m wearing my sneakers. I’m in a better mood already.

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A Week Off-the-Grid

Nov 13

Posted by chuck in Babble, Tech | Comments off

Back in June 2002, I ordered DSL from Ameritech. The package they offered was 768k download and 128k upload. Way faster than my 56k modem and being able to use the telephone while being online was worth the relatively steep $29.99 a month we were paying.

One year later, I was contacted by Ameritech to see if I was interested in renewing my contract for another year. As long as I signed a contract, the price wouldn’t change and as a bonus – they were upgrading everyone’s speed! I’d be able to download nearly twice as fast (1.5M download)

My speed increase was to go into effect on Tuesday, June 24, 2003. I remember it because I told my buddy (who lives in a different building in my apartment complex) about the automatic speed increase and when he tested his speed – he was downloading at 1.2M! His speed increase had taken effect. All day that Tuesday I waited for my increase. Late afternoon I measured my speed. I was downloading at 317k!?! The speed increase actually cut my speed in half! I called Ameritech and after an hour of navigating the menu system and finally talking to a real person, I convinced them to undo whatever was done that day. My speed bumped back up into the 600′s but nothing they did could increased it beyond.

I spent most of July 2003 trying to find out why my line would not qualify for the speed upgrade SBC offered with the acceptance of a new contract. I’d started working with a couple of authorized technicians from broadbandreports.com and they were great. They couldn’t fix it but they were able to give me some answers… my phone line has a ‘light ground’ on the ring side. Or as one of them put it:

“…tested your line before I logged out of my PC and there was only 371 ohms of resistance between tip and ring, a clean line should have 3500 ohms…”

I called SBC repair to have a tech come look at it. A week later he showed up while I was at work. Carrie called me at work and had me describe the problem to him. I told him everything I’d learned up to that point. He said OK – he’d look at it and get me straightened out.

About a half hour later Carrie calls me again and puts the tech on the line. Yes – I *do* have a ‘light ground’ (his words) on the line but it’s not ‘service disrupting’ In other words, I have a dial tone and my DSL was sync’ing so there was nothing else he would do. He told me he spoke to his supervisor and they agreed that he nothing could be done to fix my problem unless I opted to have my line ‘conditioned’ (which I gathered meant that I would have to pay for it to be fixed. Pay to fix the apartment’s wiring? No thanks)

—-

FOUR YEARS LATER

—-

Well, it’s been just over five years since we got DSL. In those years, Ameritech has become SBC and SBC has become AT&T. DSL service has expanded and new price tiers have taken effect. As for us, we’ve resigned ourselves to paying $19.99 for 600K speeds, while neighbors in my own building are paying $14.95 for 1.5M speeds.

A new development is the problems I’m having with static and the DSL modem losing sync with alarming regularity. We’ll lose sync four or five times a day if it’s raining and sometimes for no reason at all. I have tried another Speedstream modem (just like the one Ameritech provided) but the symptoms are the same. I can’t take it anymore.

A week ago I broke down after we’d been without internet for about two hours and called tech support. A nightmare session with an outsourced 1st tier support person ensued as he walked me though his script. After insisting that I do not have a firewall installed (I do – but that’s not the problem) pluging and unplugging my phone filters, unplugging the modem from the router (which I didn’t do) and resetting the modem (which I had done numerous times before I even called) it was determined that a problem existed on my line (no shit?) and I was turned over to second tier support.

After speaking with a technician that didn’t treat me like a neophyte we agreed that a technician should be dispatched. I was assured someone would be out the next morning. The following day I took off work to meet the technician who finally showed up at 3:15pm (“between 8am and 5pm”, he said… I should have went to work) and had me up and online again in a little over an hour. Fine. He worked in the phone room so I don’t know what he did but we say our goodbyes and he leaves. About 40 minutes later – the DSL line dies again. I call tech support – 2nd tier directly this time – and they page the technician. He calls me back. “Wow, it’s down again? Really?” he says. “Well, I guess I can get someone out there again tomorrow”.

TOMORROW?! I need to be online today!

“You’re about three miles from the Central Office,” he tells me “you’re actually lucky to get service out there at all”. (My bullshit alarm went off at this point because as I’ve said – I know people in the same complex that get adaquate speeds and I’ve had service – albeit poor service, at this location for 5 years)

In a fit of frustration I turned on TV and looked for our cable company’s customer service phone number (I’d look for it on their webpage – but… damn, no internet!) Once I found it I called and spoke to a very pleasant service rep who gave me the whole run down on services available.

Moral of the story is my cable company offers better speed and a competitive price with exceptional customer service. We went with one of those package bundles that include our existing cable service, digital phone and up to 9M download speeds. 9 Megs!!! Can you believe it? I’ve dumped AT&T completely. Not because they’ve been unable to provide the service I’d really like – and be willing to pay for – but because when I really needed a reliable connection – they were unable to provide it. They’ve been unable to provide answers for why my service is substandard and after over five years I’ve come to realize that they don’t care.

That’s all I can take. You hear me AT&T? I’m gone.

But judging by their customer service – they’ll never miss me.

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OWNED!

Jul 3

Posted by chuck in Babble | Comments off

We mailed the final car payment on Friday. To celebrate the occasion I’ve collected all the writeups I’ve done in an attempt to document the whole car-owning experience. It’s a different kind of experience, ’cause it’s a Saturn.

From the Drain – I’m Scared of my Car Lots of things went wrong within the first couple years. Maybe writing them all down will make them seem less overwhelming. Maybe not.

02/05/2005 – What the Hell is that Noise? Hey, I started a blog! Now I can write about things that happen to me.
  

And of course, anyone who knows me knows how much faith and love I have in my car. So having the ability to call for help should we ever get stranded is a big plus. – from: Can You Hear Me Now? It’s About Time 

 
02/07/2005 – A Super Bowl and a Super Bill LESSON: The loudness of the noise from the ass-end of the car is directly proportional to the amount of money required to fix it.

07/03/2005 – I miiight be a Redneck DIY for the white-trash home mechanic
 

…the roof of the garage. It leaks over our car. It doesn’t leak anyplace else. Just over the Saturn. -from: Mental Block

 
11/17/2005 – Pre-Winter Car Freakout I hear those sleigh-bells ringing and that means I’m screwed.

Saturn of North Olmsted. They bent over backwards to get me a deal. Called in favors, they said. Got me the shittiest financing you could imagine. Once I drove the car off the lot – I was alone. I’ve replaced everything on the car – none of it covered under my fancy, must-have, extended warranty. Try to get an appointment with them and you’ll wait for a month. “Different Kind of Company” my ass. – from: The Drain – My Boycott List 

 
11/27/2005 – Holiday Weekend Wrapup Mechanics need Christmas money too.
 

18.) I’m scared of my car. -from: 100 Things About Me

 
11/29/2005 – Car Analysis Lie on this couch. Tell me about your auto.

To be fair – 2005 wasn’t an especially bad car year, it’s just that I started blogging in 2005.

Also, to be honest I haven’t had any real problems as of late. I’ve gotten into the habit of checking under the hood every weekend for leaks or squeaks or weird smells. My wife bought me the Chilton’s manual for my make and model car which helps me understand what things are and how they work. I’ve come to admit that the car is ten years old and I can’t expect it behave like new.

I’m just glad to own the damn thing.

Finally.

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I’ll take "Dumbasses" for $500, Alex.

May 12

Posted by chuck in Babble | Comments off

“In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.”
-Nietzsche

My wife and I were discussing the American Idol phenomenon the other night after Chris Daughtry got voted off and she decided to boycott any future shows.

We decided the show would be better if America didn’t vote at all.

Think about it, once they got the contestants down to the top 12 or whatever, instead of America voting, (multiple times each, diluting whatever intrinsic value a single vote can have) they should introduce a celebrity panel of Judges. A panel of musicians, producers and entertainers from all facets and genres of music and entertainment. A panel of ten would be plenty. Let the panel decide who stays and who goes, majority rules. But stock the panel with a good variety… somebody from a rock band, a pure vocalist, a country artist, a producer, a song writer, a music-manager, maybe even a film celebrity.
Each judge could grade the contestant from their own perspective: things like stage-presence, vocal-ability, raw-talent, attitude, appearance etc… would all become meaningful. America wouldn’t be able to vote to keep a sub-par contestant on the show for weeks past their expiration date just because Simon made fun of her. (I’m convinced many votes come from people simply voting against Simon)
Each new season they could make a big deal out of presenting the celebrity panel. Maybe each member could take turns being a “guest judge” with Paula, Simon and Dog during those initial tryouts (the only episodes I really watch). That seemed to go over well when they did something similar with guest judges last season (or was it the season before?)

Besides, if the previous AI winners are any indication, America cannot pick the next pop star. It took Kelly Clarkson (Season One) almost five years before she got so popular I could see her CD’s at Wal-Mart. Not that Wal-Mart is the litmus test for popularity, but I don’t like Kelly Clarkson’s music and I’m not going to go looking for it. But if I see a stand-up or a poster or a rack of CD’s in a store whether I’m looking for them or not – then I guess she’s popular.

Unfortunately, I’d bet that American Idol has some big partnership with Cingular or whatever phone company that tabulates all those millions of votes and wouldn’t want to part with the extra money they make from that deal just so we could find true well-rounded stars.

It will continue until people stop voting. Or stop watching. Yeah, like that’ll happen.

The best comment I’ve heard since Chris Daughtry was voted off:
“Remember, this is coming from the same country that elected George W Bush”

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(Dead) Sexy?

Feb 22

Posted by chuck in Tech | Comments off

So my site got blocked by WebSense. Although it’s mostly a personal blog with very little controversial content, it’s most certainly not, as WebSense has me categorized:

‘Adult Content: sex’.
(of course, now that I’ve posted this entry, Websense will see the above line as validation of their ridiculous categorization.)


So now whenever I use my personal site as a sandbox for a work idea, I’m unable to access the sandbox from work, where it would be most useful.

Great.

Websense has managed to prevent me from accessing my own information. I can’t help but wonder how many other sites have been so dangerously miscategorized by Websense.
Who controls what category you go into? Who labels you?

I filled out their form to request re-categorization, so we’ll see if this was a case of a simple mistake or something far more sinister.

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Crappy Bowl XL

Feb 6

Posted by chuck in Babble | Comments off

Count the zebras amongst those who seemed to be among the Iron City faithful. All game long, it looked like they had an edict to “make sure Jerome Bettis goes out a winner and make sure Dan Rooney gets a Vince”. A hail of blatantly bad calls went against the Seattle Seahawks which cost them 14 precious points, and ultimately the game. – PatsFans.com

While I’ll admit that the Steeler’s probably would have won anyway, when a quarterback is penalized 15 yards for tackling the guy who intercepted his pass… bah. That’s when I shut it off. Family Guy repeats were far better than that tripe.

I made my daughter promise me that even though she may never follow football, she would never, ever root for the Steelers. Ever.

She agreed.

At least the commercials were good.

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Car Analysis

Nov 29

Posted by chuck in Babble | Comments off

First of all, before I even get into this entry let me say that, with a doubt, I am as sick of this subject as you are. Really. The possibility that this is a true psychosis, treatable by only a trained professional has entered my mind. The only thing keeping me from addressing this with a shrink is the fact that I feel like I can otherwise interact with the rest of my world in a normal fashion. (Well, that and the psychiatrist wouldn’t do this for free)

The combination of Winter approaching and the most recent oil change has once again brought the car into my center of focus like a giant zit on the end of my nose. No matter where else I look, I can’t see beyond it. I’ve decided that I am intelligent enough to perform a thorough analysis of this problem and attempt to diagnose what the hell my hang-up is.

Wanna ride along? Cool, hop on.

Argument #1: The car will leave me stranded on the road somewhere, far from civilization, where I will face certain death by starvation.

Counterargument #1: Yeah right. This one is easy. I don’t go anywhere far from civilization, I have a cell phone now, and in my current condition, starvation would take months.

DEFEATED.

Argument #2: The car will leave me stranded somewhere where I will have to call for help. Help may come in the form of a tow-truck and will take me to a service station. Both of these helpers will want to be paid.

Counterargument #2: This one has more validity. Not only would this be an unplanned expense but it will more than likely postpone or prevent me from getting where I was going to in the first place.

VALID

Argument #3: Every time I take the car for service, the service guys will tell me that there are far more things that require service. Would I like to spend extra money and address them now? No? Then I will be left with a paper detailing the things that are required and the phrase “Recommended Service Declined by Customer” across the top. It may as well read: “I Don’t Love My Car and These are the Reasons Why:”

Counterargument #3: In my experience, this one is also true. But on the other hand, these guys are there to make money. While it may be true that I’m leaking a little bit of oil that would be fixed by replacing the valve cover gasket, maybe I’m leaking so little oil (nothing on the garage floor) that it doesn’t really matter. I understand that replacing things before they go bad is called “preventative maintenance”, but taken too far it’s also called “I paid $7,000 for my car and $13,000 to keep it running”.

PUSH

Argument #4: Should I not address the “Recommended Service” items the car will eventually become an immobile paperweight in the garage and I’ll have no one to blame but myself as I sit at the busstop and cry.

Counterargument #4: I think this is the crux of my psychosis. I’m smart enough to understand that a machine will never heal itself if left alone long enough. The things that are bad or going bad are not going to get better by ignoring them. I hate gambling and to me this is a form of gambling. How long can I afford to not fix it? A month? Three months? Will the $200 job today cost $500 by the time I get around to admitting that it has to be fixed? I feel like I’m playing go fish while everyone else is playing poker.

VALID

Argument #5: I’m to expect these kinds of problems in a nine year old car

Counterargument #5: This is the response I get whenever I try to get any questions answered in one of those online forums (I won’t say which one… *cough* saturnfans…*cough*) Maybe I just can’t wrap my head around this concept but I bought the car with 38,000 miles on it. After owning it for 4 1/2 years it has just over 53,000 miles. Doing some quick math shows that I’ve driven 15,000 miles. 15,000, that’s all. The other day I counted my oil changes and came up with 11 (an average of every five months). HOLY SHIT! 11 oil changes in 15,000 miles!! That’s an oil change every 1300 miles!! And in that 15,000 miles I’ve replaced the battery, an oxygen sensor, all four tires, the entire rear suspension and the spark plugs. The air-conditioner worked for a total of two months. When it’s real hot out the car doesn’t want to start and whenever it’s cold out I can count on the “Service Engine Soon” light coming on. Do I expect the car to act like it’s new? I guess not. But I feel like I’m left to care for a dying dog after somebody else has spent years playing frisbee with him.

VALID

Argument #6: A new car would solve all my problems

Counterargument #6: I’M NOT DONE PAYING ON THIS CAR. HA HA, YEP, THAT’S RIGHT… ALL THESE PROBLEMS AND THE FRIGGIN’ CAR ISN’T EVEN MINE YET!! HO HO HO HA HA!

DEFEATED

Argument #7: I need to suck it up and learn about cars so I can diagnose my own car problems

Counterargument #7: I agree whole-heartedly. I know I could understand it. Now I just need to spend more money I don’t have on some car-specific tools (filter wrench, socket set with spark-plug socket, drain pan, torque-wrench) and a place to do the work (our landlord frowns upon doing car repairs in our garage). *sigh*

VALID

So there we have it. I honestly thought this would have ended better. Let’s recap:

  1. Getting stuck on the road somewhere may not kill me, but it will probably cost enough to make me wish I were dead.
  2. Automotive Service guys want to make money. If they can scare the money out of me, that is just fine with them.
  3. Automotive Service guys cover their asses by giving you a list of things that could possibly go wrong in the future, so that you can’t blame them when the thing goes wrong and you complain that they touched your car last.
  4. I have an old car. When I bought the car it was shiny and smelled new. Apparently all that is required to sell me a piece of shit is soap, water and an air-freshener.
  5. I will have to tolerate the car for at least as long as it takes me to pay for it. Probably longer because I am unwilling to go through all of this again with another car.

Oh, well. What I had hoped would give me some insight to my dementia only led to yet another in a long line of car related posts I’ve written in an effort to make the world aware of the injustice I feel at owning a shitty car.

Hope you enjoyed it.

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Pre-Winter Car Freak-Out

Nov 17

Posted by chuck in Babble | Comments off

First of all, let me apologize in advance if the following sounds a bit, well, severe. It’s had all morning to bake in my head until it was golden brown and ready to be served…

I woke up this morning and turned on the news as usual. What did I see?

IT’S SNOWING!! Yes, goddamn it, it’s snowing already. It’s not even Thanksgiving! You know what that means? It means winter is here. I hate winter. I hate the cold with a passion normally reserved for war criminals and Ravens fans. There I was standing out at the bus stop freezing my balls off and thinking about winter. And when I think about winter I don’t think about snowmen and Christmas carols and spiced apple-cider. I think about my car.

Oh shit.

You’ve probably read my previous diatribe: I’m Scared of My Car, right? If not, go ahead and check it out, I’ll wait.

Now this car thing is getting ri-goddamn-diculous. I’m a geek. That means that I “get” machines. Technology and I are good friends. I understand how systems work within other systems to drill holes or make coffee or microwave oatmeal. But I’ve never had less faith in a machine than I have in my car. Logic be damned, I think the car hates me.

From the buying experience through the most recent rear suspension replacement, I’ve held a quiet fantasy that perhaps one day I’ll buy a new car and these problems will go away. There’s bad juju in this car. Maybe it was used to run somebody down? Or it was owned by terrorists? I don’t know. But there’s bad karma (car-ma?) there.

Bad juju? Spirits? C’mon… It’s got to be something else. Maybe it’s the fact that every winter, just before the holidays, I have some kind of car repair I wasn’t planning on, (Tires, battery, muffler strap) sucking the Xmas money out of my wallet. Maybe it’s because the last time it was in for major service (rear suspension) the morons at Firestone told me that I also needed a “throttle-body cleaning”. What the hell are you talking about? The throttle body is fine. The throttle body is under the hood. I’m having problems with the ass end of the car. Nothing is wrong under the hood!!

It’s this kind of “let’s see how stupid the customer is” service that makes me dread any new sounds or smells or dashboard lights in my car. If something goes wrong can I afford not to fix it? I’d never in a thousand years go back to Saturn for service, and now I have to keep my eyes on the guys at Firestone.

I’ve often tried to think my way through this obsession and I’ve asked myself “What is the worst that can happen?” “What the hell am I so afraid of?” Do I think that a light will come on in the car and soon after the car will explode? No. Do I think that I’ll be stranded on the highway somewhere with my family and left there to die? Well… no. Do I think that I’ll take the car in for an estimate on the latest “mystery problem” and be told that it will require more money than I have? Forcing me to abandon the car in the service station parking lot and my family to take the bus for the rest of our lives? Maybe.

I guess it’s the money. There’s never enough money to fix things before they break (I should check the brakes). Just like you never get a really good sale on something when you really need it. I want a car-guy. I want a friend who “knows all about cars” and can tell me what I really need to do and leave out all the bullshit. I want somebody who’s looking out for my best interest.

As long as I’m wishing I may as well wish for spring.

It’s gonna be a long winter.

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Jun 8

Posted by chuck in Babble | Comments off

I haven’t written in about a month

Lessee… um…. family reunion plan… ten teeth pulled…. accident…. funeral… whaddya mean you don’t have any money?…. No Disney World tickets yet…. gotta buy stamps…. father’s day… migraines…. no sick time… home air conditioner always on…. bus air conditioner always off… smelly bus…. always late…. orange barrels…. squeak squeak squeak…. no raise yet… stupid cat.

That about sums it up.

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